[BCSA SOCIAL MEDIA TEAM 24/25 – Author: — Elisa Jin]
In ancient China, weddings were considered one of the Four Great Joys in life. The complexity of the rituals and the depth of their meaning reflected the importance that Chinese people placed on marriage. Traditional Chinese weddings typically followed the “Six Rites” (Liù Lǐ, 六礼), which included: the proposal, exchanging birth information, presenting betrothal gifts, sending wedding gifts, choosing the wedding date, and finally, the wedding ceremony itself. Each step carried rich cultural significance and expressed hopes for a joyful and harmonious union:
the first step is 纳采Nà Cǎi (Proposal), when the groom’s family formally asks the bride’s family for permission to marry. They present gifts as a sign of sincerity. This marks the beginning of the relationship between the two families. Next comes 问名Wèn Míng (Name Inquiry), where the families exchange the names and birth dates of the couple. In traditional Chinese culture, people believe that birth dates influence fate, so this step involves fortune-telling to see if the couple is a good match. If the result is favorable, the groom’s family moves to the third step: 纳吉Nà Jí (Accepting the Match). More gifts are sent to confirm the engagement and to receive blessings from the bride’s family. The fourth step is 纳征Nà Zhēng (Betrothal Gifts). The groom sends valuable items—such as jewelry, silk, or money—to the bride’s family. These gifts represent his commitment and respect for the bride. The fifth step is 请期Qǐng Qī (Setting the Wedding Date). A lucky day is chosen for the wedding, usually based on the lunar calendar. This reflects the traditional belief that a good beginning brings good fortune. Finally, there is 亲迎Qīn Yíng (Wedding Ceremony). On the wedding day, the groom personally travels to the bride’s home to escort her to his house. They wear traditional clothing, often red, which is considered an auspicious color in Chinese culture. Red symbolizes happiness, good luck, and prosperity. The couple then performs several formal ceremonies. The most important one is 拜堂bài táng (the bowing ceremony), where the couple follows three bows: first to heaven and earth, showing respect to the gods; secondo to their parents, honoring their families; and third to each other, confirming their union as husband and wife. This ritual is the heart of the traditional wedding and symbolizes harmony, gratitude, and the start of a new life together.
Although the Six Rites form the core of a traditional Chinese wedding, there are also some customs that take place after the main ceremony, adding warmth and fun to the celebration. One such custom is called 闹洞房 “nào dòng fáng” (wedding-night games). After the wedding, friends and family sometimes play light-hearted pranks or tell jokes to tease the newlyweds. This is meant to create a joyful atmosphere and bring laughter to the couple’s first night together.
Another tradition is 回门 “huí mén” (returning to the bride’s family). Typically, three days after the wedding, the newlyweds visit the bride’s parents, bringing gifts to express gratitude. It symbolizes the continued bond between the bride and her family, even after she joins her husband’s household.
Changes in Modern Chinese Weddings
Modern Chinese weddings have undergone significant transformations, blending traditional elements with western influences. While many traditional practices still hold a place in modern ceremonies, today’s weddings emphasize personalization, creativity, and convenience, reflecting both societal and cultural shifts.
In traditional Chinese weddings, preparations were largely handled by the families, with the groom’s side typically covering most of the expenses. The details of the wedding were often decided by elders, focusing heavily on customs and formalities. However, in modern weddings, the process is largely in the hands of the couple themselves. Many young couples hire wedding planners to organize the details, which allows for more flexibility and personalization. Wedding budgets have also shifted, with greater emphasis placed on venue selection, decorations, catering, and other aspects, turning wedding planning into a specialized industry. The venue for modern weddings has also evolved. While traditional weddings were usually held at home, creating an intimate and solemn atmosphere, today’s weddings take place in a variety of settings including hotels, wedding chapels, resorts, and even on beaches. These venues offer a more contemporary and romantic backdrop for the ceremony. Alongside these changes, many modern weddings incorporate Western elements, such as the exchange of rings and vows. However, traditional customs like the baitang (bowing ceremony) and tea ceremony are still maintained in many families that value cultural traditions. Wedding attire has seen a noticeable shift as well. Traditionally, brides wore red garments, such as 凤冠霞帔 “fengguan xiapei” (bridal crown and robes), symbolizing good fortune and happiness. Today, the standard choice for brides is the white wedding dress, a style influenced by Western traditions, though red attire is still chosen by some for its auspicious meaning. Grooms no longer wear traditional robes but typically, opt for Western-style suits. The design of wedding decorations has also changed, with modern weddings embracing minimalist or romantic styles. Color like gold, pink and white have become popular reflecting the couple’s personal tastes and style. Technology plays a major role in modern weddings. Many couples live-stream their weddings, allowing distant friends and family to participate in the ceremony. Traditional paper invitations are increasingly replaced by digital ones, and social media platforms such as WeChat and Weibo are commonly used to send invitations and share updates. Professional photographers and videographers capture the event, and wedding photos and videos have become important keepsakes. Despite these changes, certain traditional customs persist. For instance, the 闹洞房“nào dòng fáng” (wedding-night games) remain part of many modern weddings, though they are typically lighter and more humorous than in the past. This custom helps maintain a festive atmosphere and adds a sense of fun to the celebration. Another enduring tradition is 回门“huí mén” (returning to the bride’s family), where the newlyweds visit the bride’s parents three days after the wedding. While the practice has become more flexible over time, it still reflects respect and gratitude toward both families.
The evolving views on marriage in China are also reflected in modern wedding practices. In the past, marriage was often seen as a societal duty, with families playing a major role in the decision-making process. Today, however, marriage is increasingly viewed as a personal choice based on love, emotions, and individual freedom. Many young people now marry later, and in urban areas, some choose not to marry at all. As societal values have shifted, modern weddings are more often a reflection of the couple’s unique identity and preferences. Weddings are also becoming more personalized, with couples opting for less conventional and more tailored ceremonies that reflect their lifestyles, interests, and cultural backgrounds. Women’s roles in marriage have also evolved, with greater emphasis on equality and shared responsibilities between partners. The traditional roles where men worked outside and women managed the household are less common, with both partners now equally participating in family responsibilities.
Chinese marriage laws play an important role in protecting both parties’ rights. For example, the legal age for marriage is 22 for men and 20 for women, ensuring the stability and legality of marriages. Marriage must be based on mutual consent, and forced marriages are strictly prohibited. China’s legal framework supports monogamy and forbids polygamy, which contributes to the stability of marriages. In recent years, divorce laws have also evolved, with a “cooling-off period” introduced to give couples time to reconsider their decision before finalizing the divorce.
Modern Chinese weddings are a blend of traditional customs and contemporary influences. They reflect a society in transition, where old and new meet, and where personal freedom and cultural heritage coexist. While many traditional rituals remain part of the ceremony, today’s weddings have become more individualized, focusing on the couple’s love, personality, and shared future. The influence of both traditional Chinese customs and Western trends has created a wedding culture that is as diverse as it is meaningful.
REFERENCES
https://orientalbridal.com/chinese-wedding-ceremony-etiquette/
https://elegantize.com/2025/02/06/significance-of-red-exploring-modern-chinese-wedding-decor
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